Middle Age Questions that have yet to be answered

Chug, Chug, Chug, Remember those days where we thought the hightlight of our life was when Joe was able to do a keg stand for a minute? Or when we thought we were bad for staying up till 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. Now what is sad is that when 10 pm rolls around on a Friday all I would rather do is sleep and iron. Okay, you're probably thinking iron? When did I hit middle age? Good question, what is considered middle age? Is is when our beer gut hangs over and we can't remember what shoes we picked out because we can't see our feet? Do we hit middle age when we care about our cholesteral, high blood sugar, and the state of our colonic health? Or is middle age when we realize we can't go streaking across our neighbors lawn and ringing their doorbell? I guess middle age is whenever you want it to be and it can hit at any time. I say you should live life to the fullest and enjoy every minute because when you see Johnny flying across the street in his birthday suit just remember you've hit middle age when you don't even have the urge to point and laugh.